TuesDay!!!
Very busy day today!
had my BEG exam this morning..didnt study much, cox i felt asleep while reading my notes yesterday night.
exams end at 11am, pon the rest of the lesson and went home change & went to foot reflexology.
had birthday lunch with my family then now at my grandma house to visit her...
i'm gonna go chalet later...not going to sch tmr also...
been very stress this few weeks....so gonna take a break and have fun!!
and next week i'm having exams again..:'(

having my holidays after my last paper on the 7th December
i hope all this will end soon.


while on the way to my grandma house, i heard 1301(zhi ying wei ni)by zhang dong liang on the radio, why i called it 1301, becox is the code in my sec sch machine.
reminds me of my friends...and i thank god for all the people i knew in my sec sch...cox they are all really nice people...
I don have any ah beng, ah lian friends.....though one or two of them smoke...but they don teach me to smoke...they din ask me to try one. even though i was very bad during sec 1 & 2..i cant imagine what i will be if i din go to church that time.
sometimes i'll asked god, why i don look the same as i am inside.becox i really don look like who i really am inside. and why my friends all passed their N level and i failed MINE!!(not fail, but just din do well to promote to sec 5) i also told myself if i get 11 for my N level, i jump off the building.
i was really very sad on the 18th december 2006, the day i got my results. i wanted to cry at aloysius car, but i hold my tears.
back to youth camp, hiding myself in the room crying. all of them was having fun outside.
except sybil slping in the room. if ting din came in to the room, i'll be crying like hell.
then she text me jeremiah 29:11, this verse was once again appearing.
remind me of his promises.
"For i know the plan i have for u, plan to prosper you and not harm you, plan to give you a hope and a future."
so i was always telling myself, god makes me different. i am unique.because i am always diff from my friends.
friends sometimes do not understand me, but i din blame them.no one will understand me well, except god.
they may make fun of my religion, i know they don mean it intentionally, so i smile at them, hurting inside,telling god" forgive them father, they do not understand."
i may not be very holy, reading the bible everyday, but i love god alot.
i may not be good at words during prayer, but i mean everything at the bottem of my heart.
i admit i don dare to pray with peeple, maybe that's why i'm avoiding prayer meeting, HF and youth.
but if anyone had a prayer request, i'll hide myself in the room at night and pray for them.
this few months, i'm very empty inside, then i reliease how long i haven been doing my QT.
i hide myself from god and not been listening to what he wants to say.

"Take my five loaves and two fishes,
Do with it as you will, I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
I hope this gift is not too small"


TO BE CONTINUE.......